BiTtErSwEeT<3's Journal

Ok i think im freaked out know the sadness turned into fear and my dreams turned into....a black space with no dream. My Mom lied to me and said she was fine when she wasnt and im hurt. 2 priests came to my house with my moms friend Giselle. My mom is throwing up right now and i hate my life. It's this moment that i remember my dad rocking me to sleep and singing me a spanish lullaby and telling me that i will be blessed and have a great life.

I regret what he said. my life stinks i dont have a wonderful life like all the Waverly girls or the wannabes, i dont get clothes everyday and go on shopping sprees. It's only once in a while i do maybe every 4 months? maybe less??

None understands how scared i am to open my arms and say oh my life's great and i will be this or that. I miss my old life sitting with my dad and my family. My grandma playing catch with me when i was 5 or 2, my dad giving me presents on christmas, and my dad making me laugh when i was sad. It's one of these moments when you want to goon a time machine to go back in time and feel and laugh in the moments i've had with my dad. My Dad was the one that connected us even though he screwed up with my mom. I sometimes tell myself why do i keep living?? why do i keep holding on?? what am i holding on??

I wannago back andfeel my dad kissing me and hugging me. Making me feel spoiled without giving me everything i want. I was happy and every moment of that life....he made it great. I have tears down my eyes because what had happened i hate everything............................=[

bittersweet<3

goodnight! =]